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Showing posts from January, 2009

A Saturday In The House

I get a bit rummy when I spend all day in the house. However, there are those days where it's not to be helped. Between this blasted cold that seems to be the latest team-building exercise at work, a project due on Thursday (Visual Basic class at Edmonds Community College ), and a general malaise, I've been sitting here watching the sun move across the sky from my couch. Days like this leave me in a foggy mental state. At some point I always need to get outside, no matter how ucky I feel. I've pondered this before, but never figured out the mechanism at hand. This didn't affect me during my years of submarine service. However, the sub was quite a bit bigger than my humble condo. Perhaps it was the manic busy-ness. Anyway, though I've not completed anything I wanted to, I'm about the abandon it all and get outside. Whether a drive, a small walk, or sitting in the backyard in the mud, I'm getting out.

Here I am, 2009

Like many people, I couldnā€™t imagine living this long. However, this is not so much a fault with my vision, rather a lack of visioning. Rarely have I lifted my gaze towards the future, towards the sun at dawn. As life has progressed, my nose has drifted lower, resting against the proverbial grindstone. One would expect a bloodied pulp proboscis by now. Visioning, or itā€™s lack, has been something of a problem for me. Itā€™s hard to plan, to develop goals without a vision. So much of my life has been lived with an immediate focus, short-term mentality. Though Iā€™ve strived to raise my gaze, old habits compel with force. Not powerless, but easily seduced, these impulses drag me down the familiar path. Perchance to dream, to see a future with clarity. Thus to vision, to provide direction, then goals and that fulfillment of life. Such is what I seek.