Being there

3:00 am, I receive a text, and slept through it. Logical, acceptable, and yet still painful. A friend hurting, and I wasn't able to be there. She worked her way through, so no guilt on that. No, it's deeper. 

I value my friends, my family. I value helping, to be present when needed. Thus, one of my core values failed. That is, and should be, painful. It's not about effectiveness, or any of that. 

I know that these sorts of things will happen again and again. Failures of theses elements should cause discomfort, and reflection. That's different than guilt. More akin to sadness. Which is fair to feel. 

I hope that feeling remains. Keeps me striving, pushing, growing. Another thing I value.